There’s something magical about the imaginary moment that is reached at midnight, 31st December. I call it imaginary because, if you think about it, there’s no such thing as a new year. It’s an arbitrary line, that prompts people to go out en-masse, celebrate, get intoxicated, listen to wild music, and maybe dance through the night. And there’s the countdown – the last few seconds of the dying year, leading to the freshly minted, new-born feeling that the new year produces.
What causes us to feel this excitement at an age-old tradition that has existed in almost every culture? What causes our optimism to go through the roof? What propels us to make new year resolutions – promises, rational or otherwise – to ourselves? Of course, once the euphoria dies down, we either forget and ignore our resolutions, or give up on them very quickly. Why do we forget so easily?
Opportunity for renewal and introspection
The new year is a momentous occassion because it tells us that we’ve lived for one more year on this beautiful planet. We’ve dealt with 365 days of craziness – good or bad. Most importantly, the new year presents an opportunity for renewal. There is a strange need that comes from our inner child – the need to feel clean, renewed, and whole. We get another opportunity at a clean slate. At least, that’s how it feels. We can start again. We can put the past behind us.
Before thinking of resolutions, it is important to introspect and review the year that went by:
- Were you happy with the year as a whole?
- What went well, according to you? What were the highlights of the year?
- What did not go well? Are there any regrets? Anything you would change?
- What are one or two major, root level changes you want to bring about in your life in the new year? Why these particular changes?
To resolve or not to resolve?
So, what is the best way forward? Is it a good idea to make a resolution or not? There are arguments for both sides of this camp. Some say it is no good making resolutions. Others say it is good to make a few resolutions, and keep them limited in number and achievable in scope.
At any rate, whether you plan to make one or more new year resolutions, here are some aspects to think about when setting up new resolutions:
- Why do you want to change? What is wrong with the way you are?
You are the embodiment of perfection: You have everything you need right now to lead an outrageously joyful, amazingly peaceful life. Joy and bliss dwell inside of you every moment, and the only thing getting in the way of bliss is the incessant thinking, the non-stop emotional roller-coaster, the drama, and the swinging between attachment and aversion.If you can see that you are complete as you are, and wholeheartedly accept yourself, then there is no need for resolutions. And ironically, once you see this, change happens by itself – with no apparent effort on your part to initiate it. The universe conspires to help you and guide you. - Is your desire for change coming from a place of self-acceptance or self-rejection?
The only way to change is for it to come from a place of loving self-acceptance. Only when you’re willing to accept yourself as you are, can true change begin. And true acceptance means recognising your capabilities today, recognising that you may slip, and that it is OK to slip.The attitude that allows you to smile when you slip, is one of the most amazing abilities you can develop. Maybe even better than the stuff you’re attempting to fix through your resolutions. When you smile, you can begin working lovingly on your resolution again. ?If you find that your need for change comes from self-rejection, then maybe your resolution needs to be to learn how to accept yourself as you are, to learn to love yourself. This may seem like wishy-washy nonsense, but it is among the most important things you can do to help yourself. - Do you really believe that you can stick to the resolution?
Much like weight lifting, the trick is to attempt a resolution that is just outside your current capabilities. Be kind to your future self, and commit to something incremental. Gradual change is the best kind of change. It is the only way to ensure that change sticks.We live in a time of instant gratification, but our biology and our psychological hardware has not had any major upgrade for the last 10,000 years, which means we need to adjust to a realistic pace. Growth happens gradually. We grow the way trees grow, slowly and imperceptibly. Slow may be a bad word in today’s lingo, but the only way forward is through acceptance of this fact. - Is your resolution long term or short term?
It is better to keep resolutions focussed on the long term. For instance,“I achieve better health by walking for 30 minutes daily, and eating a totally plant based, whole-foods diet”is better than
“I want to reach a target weight of 60 kg”
The weight target – while certainly achievable – creates a paradox. Once you’ve hit the weight you targeted, motivation to keep at a healthy lifestyle may reduce, causing you to put on weight again. Also, short term thinking is what gets us into trouble in the first place. Making resolutions that help us work towards long term benefits help solve deeper problems, and nudge us towards a better approach to a solution.
Ultimately, it is most important to resolve to live consciously.
Happy New Year!